Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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