is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
