You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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