I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
