If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
