I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
