A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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