I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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