Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
