Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
