Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
