I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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