I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
