yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
