Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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