im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
