how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
