nut hugger
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
