You work out of a Hotel?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
