No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
vagina is talking i cant
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
