Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
