cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
