Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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