weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
