She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
