So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
