you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
