The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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