As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the raccoons are back...
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