I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
