I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
