Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
