your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
