i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
