your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I need advice on ways to politely say āfuck you on your way to hellā.
Randomize
