Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
