Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
