I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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