One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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