How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will be naked everywhere
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
