Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
