In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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