He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
