who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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