STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Blood and glitter go together right?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
