Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
