i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
