The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
