I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
