so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
